The Awakening Experience J.E #4

Journal #4 5-22-07

Once again the breaking process of an African American male continues in the 21st century. For the 2nd time in my life, my ancestors fresh of the slave ship and I are one. I don’t know what words to use to even describe the feeling; but I’ll try a few like degraded, humiliated, and stripped of my dignity, the list can go on & on. This process is ultimately designed to break the man down, humble him to the process where he has no more fight left in him; Strip him to the point where He’s out of touch with civilization make him feel less than the man that He left the free society as. To have a man get totally nake, and line them up side by side like cattle not only embarrasses Him; it’s lets him know that He’s no longer in control of the situation. How does one recover from such an experience? In my case- it’s rather complex because at times I tend to thrive off of pain, using it as fuel for my motivation. I have already seen vision of me as a successful black man; and I acknowledge the fact that it’s gonna take hard work; not only hard work, but sacrifice & craftiness. I cannot rest until I gain the success that was shown to me. This experience; as harsh as it may seem, is a good things- that’s if I survive. It’s a reminder of how quick & easy one bad decision can destroy your dreams… I while some cower at the sight of adversity- I simply smile; Because I am a testament of the bible verse, “All that will not kill me make me stronger”: So, I will continue to fight, not only for me but for my unborn seeds, for my deceased father: for my grandmother, for my mother that couldn’t break her crack addiction; Furthermore, for all those that cheer for me & believe. Failure is not an option…
-Banditti the don