The Awakening Experience

Journal Entry #10 6-1-07

Habari,
It’s so very easy to get subdued by your current surroundings, if you’re not focus on the mission at hand.
However, there must be a force behind that focus. While we all have our own motivations that fuel this force; at this present time mine is uprooted from disappointment. Why? We’ll during my attempt to get my DC card scanned, so that I can order from the canteen; I ran into all kinds of dead ends! The 1st try ended up not working, so I had to wait another day. I really wasn’t’ tripping off that though; Because, I’ve been waiting for almost a week to order, anyway. I wasn’t alone. Those of us whose cards didn’t scan the 1st attempt had to go to the administration building at 8 am the next morning, to try again. The whole time I’m thinking “What the hell are you doing here, again”? This is where I get down on myself for ended up back into the belly. Now, I’m hoping that it doesn’t scan- just to punish myself! Now, don’t get me wrong; I do need hygiene products, but I can suffer a few more days; as a reminder of not to come back… This whole fiasco stems from the fact that I feel as though I’m moving backwards. Just the thought of me ordering the same items in the same facility; makes me more & more disappointed in myself. No matter how it happened, I know it was because my lack of patience that caused this fate. Whether my intentions were good is besides the fact. A Lord knows that I am to smart, knowledge and wise in all area of life to me moving backwards. There’s obviously something missing; something that I lack within myself that’s stunting my growth. Since I acknowledge this fact, I swear not to leave this place lacking the ingredients that will ultimately help me reach my zenith.
-Banditti the don